Freddie's First Bra
by FreddieHasBreasts
Summary: Freddie endures a trip to Build-a-Bra with his mother. F and "?" You have to read to find out.


The Build-a-Bra manager glared at her two employees, "Ever since that Victoria's Secret opened across from us, we've been losing sales. I'm going to be busy with birthday parties at the back of the store. I want you two to stand in the front and get people to come in. And I want everyone who comes in here to buy a bra, or you're both fired!"

* * *

Freddie trailed behind his mother through the crowded mall holding a huge bottle of anti-tick ointment they'd bought at the drug store. As they neared the movie theatre, he could see Duke, the sweaty wrestler dude, standing at the entrance. Freddie rolled his eyes. Duke annoyed him.

"HEEEEY!" Duke bellowed as Freddie and his mother passed. "You seen any girls? I'm looking for a date! Where are those two girls you hang out with?"

"They're at a birthday party. It's.." Freddie began.

"HEEY!" Duke said again, "If you see any girls, send them my way!"

"Sure thing, Duke," said Freddie. He was lonely today because Carly and Sam had been invited to Terene's birthday party, and it was only for girls. Freddie felt left out, and had spent the day following his mother around on various errands and to a mother/son pottery convention, just like the days before iCarly. The most embarrassing part had been when he'd had to go into the women's restroom in the mall and lie on the baby table so his mother could breastfeed him. Some popular girls from school had been in the restroom putting on make up and had seen the whole thing, and now it would be all over school that Freddie was practically the only kid in the 8th grade whose mother insisted on breastfeeding him.

Now they were coming up to Build-a-Bra. Possibly due to his mother, bras made Freddie nervous, so he shut his eyes. Two women were standing in front of Build-a-Bra trying to entice people into the store.

"Ma'am, you have such a pretty little girl," one of them said.

"Excuse me, but this is a boy," Freddie's mom was smiling, but you could tell she was angry.

"Ooh, yes ma'am. I just wanted to give you this discount coupon for 20 percent off any bra you buy today."

Much to Freddie's dismay, Mrs. Benson decided this sounded like a good deal and pulled Freddie into the store."Maaa!" he protested, his voice cracking. The Build-a-Bra employees grinned at each other wickedly.

While his mother went to the first "station," Freddie cowered in the corner in the fetal position, rocking back and fourth and humming "Leave It All To Me" by Miranda Cosgrove. It wasn't long before one of the evil store employees descended upon him.

"May I help you, miss? Would you like to buy a bra? We're having a special today," she said sweetly, but Freddie wasn't buying it. He leaped to his feet and headed out the door.

"Fredward!" his mother called from a table where she was gluing what looked like pennies on an orange felt bra, "Don't wander off now. Stay where Mommy can see you!"

Freddie heard girls' laughter coming from the back of the store, along with a mention of his given name "Fredward" and, with a sinking realization he knew why he hadn't been invited to Terene's party.

The saleslady had gone over to Mrs. Benson to have a conversation in hushed tones and now she was in front of him, smiling her deceptively sweet smile. "Your mom tells me that she's noticed you've begun to develop. She thinks it's time we fitted you for your first bra," she said confidentially.

"But I'm a boy! Boys don't wear bras!," he cried, his voice breaking. Again he could hear laughter at the back of the store.

The woman had already taken out a measuring tape and wrapped it around Freddie's chest. "32 double A! Much larger than I was at 13!," the woman called out to Mrs. Benson, who was too busy making a wish over her bra before it was placed in the stuffing machine to notice. Sam's loud, mocking laugh rang out above all the others. Freddie knew he would never hear the end of this.

"Don't mind them," the lady said as she lead Freddie over to another station, "Girls are always jealous when one is larger-breasted than the others."

Before he knew what was happening, a metal claw reached out of the wall behind him and jerked his shirt off over his head. At the same time, a pink lace privacy curtain swung around him. He was ordered to select a bra and meet the attendant at the next station.

Two rotating shelves, one with cups and one with straps, twirled around displaying every color and texture combination imaginable. Grumbling and knowing he had no choice, Freddie chose the plainest and whitest offerings. As he was struggling to hook them together, his mother swept back the curtain. She was holding a white box with her new bra in it. The box was printed with pictures of girls in bras which you could color once you got home.

"Mom!," Freddie shrieked, temporarily forgetting that he was a boy and it was legal for him to appear topless in public.

Mrs. Benson put Freddie's bra together and even helped him put it on and adjusted it to give his breasts more room. Freddie was mortified to see that by now all the girls from Terene's party had gathered around them.

Carly asked if he was going to get a sound effect to put in his bra. She explained that a tune would play every time you bumped into something. Tasha laughingly piped up that it also worked when your boyfriend tried to feel you up.

"Gross!," Sam exclaimed, "What boy would want to feel up Freddie? Not even Gibby is that desperate!"

"You should get the red hearts for your decoration," said Shannon, getting back on topic, "That's what I got."

"And you could glue a red ribbon in the center," added Robin.

"And put neon pink fur around the edges!," cackled Sam, obviously enjoying this.

The girls took the bra from Freddie and headed for the decoration station. When they were satisfied, it was on to the stuffing machine, where the bra was fixed to bring Freddie up to a B cup. Freddie refused to shout and make a wish beforehand like you were supposed to. To make matters worse, he was offered yet another special deal since this was his very first bra: a complimentary matching pair of panties or a makeover. Freddie, fearing that a metal claw might come out and rip off his pants, quickly chose the makeover.

The girls, Mrs. Benson, and the store employees all stood in a circle around Freddie to admire the finished product. Mrs. Benson wiped away a tear, thinking how quickly her son was growing up.

Sam smirked at Freddie, who was obviously uncomfortable standing around in jeans and a decorative bra, his face made up like a model. "Sure, that bra looks good, but let's see how strong it is." She came up behind Freddie and pulled the back of his bra, causing him to stumble. Then she began swinging him around like a lasso. After a few minutes of enjoying the spectacle, Carly's conscience kicked in and she ordered Sam to stop.

"Okay," Sam said simply and let go of the bra strap, but not before giving Freddie a hard shove.

A loud SNAP resounded through the store as the strap met Freddie's bare back. He went sailing across the room, knocking down Terene and Shannon and crashing into a display of designer tampons. A screechy version of "You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine" emitted from Freddie's breasts.

Finally, he had had enough. Overcome with embarrasment, he dashed out of the store.

"Stop! Thief!" A Build-a-Bra employee shouted. She got out her phone to call mall security.

Meanwhile, Freddie ran through the mall, tripping over old people and knocking babies out of their strollers. He didn't care. He knew he had to hide, and he knew that the way he looked right now, he didn't exactly blend in.

Up ahead, he saw the movie theatre, and an idea began to form in his mind. Incredibly, Duke was still outside looking for a date. Freddie ran up to him and batted his eyelashes flirtatiously.

"Wow, you're hot!," Duke declared. "Wanna see a movie?"

Freddie tossed his head and tried to make his voice sound like a girl's. "I thought you'd never ask!" He disappeared into the sanctity of the dark theatre.


End file.
